It felt like its only yesterday that we went through those horrible hours......the ambulance ride ......the icu.... the doctor's discouraging words ....and the final moments..... only Allah knows how it felt....But thats one of life experiance that we have to go through ....like it or not.
Remembering her...despite the sadness it somehow comforts me to remember that for two years until her final moments I was there for her.....seeing to her every needs.....being with her everyday....When I'm done with housework... we would lunch together.....watch her favourite dramas on tv....or just lie down with her talking and listening to stories after stories mostly of her younger days.....she would laugh over funny and happy times and like everyone else ...she too had her fair share of sadness.....my times with her would ends at night times as my two younger sisters will take over taking care of her....since daytime they are working.
My mother was a very good cook.....be it anything it would turned out simply delicious....and expertise at making traditional Malay delicacies are very well known in her hometown and amomg her friends....
Being the only one among her daughters that likes cooking ...she would always remind me to learn and take over from her the right technique of making those traditional cakes ...but then I would just listen her verbal explanation without being serious enough...... back then I always felt that the whole process was too tedious and time consuming.......I would prefer to learn making the mordern biscuits and the latest cakes......without realising then the regrets that I would feel as how I am feeling now....whenever the crave..came esp. so during during festive times no matter how hard I tried to make them remembering her verbal explanations ...it just never turned out the way she did it....I missed all that.
To my dearest mother : I missed you so much....remembering you is easy as I do it everyday esp in my prayers....the things that I used to do with you BUT: its knowing you are not here with me in my times of needs....your comforting words....your generosity with me over everything .....your smiles that soothes my heart whenever I poured out my problems to you ARE THE HARDEST THINGS that I have to endure now and for as long as I live....I LOVE YOU MOM,,,LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH.
In my sadness today I just went blank with what to cook for my family until my boy suggest that I cook chicken rice for them......so be it.....its simple.... easy to cook yet wholesome...till then byeee
No comments:
Post a Comment